There are two words that are really big on the internet today, and frankly I'm getting tired of both of them: "shame" as a verb and "privilege". I'm going to bitch about privilege. Hopefully by the time I'm done I'll have the spelling memorized. I'm really good at spelling, I don't know why this word has taken me so long.
On Facebook I have a lot of friends who are compulsive article-sharers, which is unfortunate for me since I am a compulsive reader who is always on Facebook with some procrastinating excuse. Anyway, a popular topic for many are discussions (or, to be frank, complaints) about a type of "privilege". White privilege, heterosexual privilege, male privilege.... I once read an article about "feminine privilege" in the lesbian community. And while I don't want to belittle the challenges faced by people on the losing side of these "privileges," I feel so many that are most popular for discussion... it is a luxury that we GET to complain about them.
These arguments about who is more "privileged" have become so nitpicking and whiny that I get embarrassed for the people getting upset over them. I've seen a forum of white guys gripe about the privileges of women getting to have the choice of any men they want. These guys have so few problems that they have the time and indignation to invest in complaining about not getting laid at their desired frequency... while also deluding themselves that they are competing for the same women as Brad Pitt and THAT is to blame for their abysmal sex lives. It's like we have become so pampered in our daily lives that we need to create problems since we aren't actively struggling to feed ourselves or fight off, like, badgers or wolves or something.
THAT is "privilege privilege". People who GET to complain that one person gets some imaginary perk that is in no way an inalienable right
While it does absolutely nothing to counterweight the "cons" I've experienced, I think there are privileges for me being a female. Like on an airplane, if there is anybody with a penis and over the age of thirty within six rows of me, that man (or men) will lunge to stuff my Jennifer Lopez carryon in the overhead bin. In fact, the one time this DIDN'T happen to me when there was a man in convenient proximity, even I felt kind of uncomfortable. A previous delayed flight meant getting on the plane at the last call and taking the only empty seat left; he was already happily buckled in and maybe twenty pages in to his newly purchased mystery novel written by some guy with two monosyllabic names. And the circumstances were such that I actually had difficulty with my bag (compartment already mostly full, body weak from not having eaten anything all day and running through airports). I could have asked for help, but then I would have felt like an entitled bitch. But as he noticed my presence I saw a sort of shame settle into his face, and he tried to act as politely surprised as he could when I asked if I could squeeze into the middle seat.
But when it came time to get off the plane, that dude delivered. My bag was at my feet with the handle extended before I could undo my seatbelt. He even turned my bag in the best direction for optimum, drag-free gliding. I had to emphasize this so much to my boyfriend when I told him about how nobody offered to help me with my bag; I swear he was prepared to hunt the guy down and kick his ass for not helping me when I boarded.
It's a silly example that I took way too long to give, but there it is. I got so used to having a favor done for me, to having one life-conveniencing superpower, that I felt completely scandalized when it went away.
Fighting social injustice is important, and it's probably better to over-analyze everything and irritate everybody than to not think about things. But sometimes maybe we can keep a little perspective and maybe turn our attention to REAL social injustices in other places when we start running out of them in our own personal lives. That guy might not have put my bag in the overhead bin for me, but I live in circumstances where I can make my own money, by my own ticket, and get on a plane all by myself on a whim and nobody has stopped me or called me fat about it. Maybe I can do something for people who don't have those privileges?
I can't believe I forgot to mention "thin privilege"! What kind of white girl am I?
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