The New Golden Rule

Something that I've noticed about people my age is that everybody seems to subscribe to this new rule of treating people how they "ask" to be treated.

"Be cool to me and I'll be cool to you."
"... but I'll stand up for myself if I have to!"
"I don't take shit from anybody."

All varieties of phrases that suggest that if this person isn't treating you well, it's because of something you did yourself and it is out of their control.

Our parents told us, "Treat others the way you would like to be treated."

We responded, "Treat others the way I think they are treating me."

I see a lot of problems with this. To me, it seems less a natural sense of justice and more a decision of laziness.  People who I've heard say things like those I listed above seem to think they are just being logical and fair.  Every action gets an equal reaction.  But it also happens to be a lot easier to let somebody's attitude effect yours than to keep your cool, and a lot harder to treat people well when you plain just don't like them.  Make up a transgression a person made against you and you have a blank check to be intolerant and show them the door (or passive-aggressive sass).

This attitude also gives a lot of power to the holder.  Suddenly we have the right to interpret another human's actions, and there's no requirement to give the benefit of the doubt.  If somebody treats you badly because they had a moment where they were low or did not know how they were coming off, you have authority to assume the worst and perpetuate negativity by being an ass to them.  "You don't know me!"  yet you think you know them?

For me, the most basic flaw is a humanitarian one. If you treat people how they ask to be treated, you are going to keep people down who need lifting back up. "Sluts" are often that way because the world at large has treated them as such from the start. People who are hurting are often prickly and defensive because they have been taught to distrust and fear. Treating everybody the same, and well at that truly puts everyone on an even field and empowers everyone. Yes, we will be let down and disappointed at every turn, but at least we give someone a chance instead of shutting them down before they start.

The Golden Rule still seems to be a good shortcut to being a decent human being.  Barring any mental illness or masochistic tendencies, most people tend to want to be treated with respect and kindness. It's not a perfect system because no person is perfect, but it seems simpler to me, and I'm finding simplicity more and more attractive (and elusive) with time.

People are always on Facebook spouting the kind of personal philosophies you'd hear grunted by a cocky reality show contestant.  I am not ready for the real world to feel like The Real World.