A few thoughts and anecdotes from my struggle for normalcy:
My therapist xeroxed a list of things to do when I was feeling irritable. Among the list of things she couldn’t come up with herself (watch a favorite show, go for a walk) was the suggestion:
“Fly a kite.”
…...
It might as well have said, “Fly a fucking kite” while shrugging and taking a drag off a cigarette.
Fuck you, xeroxed suggestion sheet.
The psychiatrist asked how I was doing on my break without medication, and I told him that I feel like killing myself at least once a day. He shrugged.
While talking about cognitive disruption, the therapist stopped and looked at me the most sincerely she ever had.
“Don’t should yourself.”
Near-swearing in a professional environment helps me cope with therapy.
I still get mortality warnings in the mail for a drug I stopped taking months ago.
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